REAL TALK

Okay, time for some real talk.

So, when was the last time you had a real talk with your teenager. I mean a meaningful eye to eye, heart to heart conversation that bothered on your teenager’s welfare. I have been working with children and teenagers for many years, even before I became a Christian, as far back as my undergraduate days, somewhere between 1990 and 1992, during the practical of a course titled Children Theatre. About two weeks ago, I met a lovely woman who reminded me of how some of us from the Performing Arts Department of the University of Ilorin used to come to the then Queen’s School Ilorin to teach them drama. That was where my love for working with young people budded. From there, through my early years at NTA, up till now, I have enjoyed working with children and teenagers. Therefore, I can tell you that one of the greatest need of any child/teenager is communication. From the moment a child comes out of her mother’s womb, he wants to communicate and be communicated to.

Who doesn’t?

Your teenager needs you to listen to her and talk WITH her… not to her or down at her, but WITH her, and this, many parents find hard to do.

I talk with many teenagers (that’s my passion and ministry) and many of them confess to me grave things they are involved in, sometimes, right under their parents’ roofs.

Some of you parents don’t know that your children are committing incest right under your very noses.

Some are being sexually molested/abused by your drivers, stewards, relatives, stepfathers, step mothers etc.

Some are already deep into lesbianism, homosexuality, pornography, gang rape, prostitution etc.

Some have become experts at aborting pregnancies.

Some are infected with HIV and other serious sexually transmitted diseases.

Some are contemplating suicide.

Some are addicted drug users.

Some belong to cults and gangs.

Some are certified fraudsters, some into money rituals etc.

Many of them are struggling spiritually, emotionally, academically, socially etc.

I can go on and on, and I’m not trying to scare you.

THIS IS REAL.

And when I ask them, if their parents know? I get answers like:

Ø I can’t tell them.

Ø I’m scared.

Ø My mum will fry me.

Ø My dad will kill me.

Ø They are not always home.

Ø They will be disappointed.

Ø They will disown me.

Ø They don’t care. 

Ø They didn’t do anything about it when I told them.

The bottom line is this, many parents seem to be either clueless, careless or have their priorities out of order. Raising children in this digital, end of the world age demands more than feeding, clothing and educating them.

When was the last time you gave enough attention to that teenager of yours? His gestures, her moods, his restlessness, her sighs, his countenance, her shifty eyes, his conversations, both actual and virtual. These, apart from being a conversation opener, can also give you clues to what is going on in their minds. When was the last time you listened, I mean, really listened while your teenagers talked about issues they are struggling with?

This is becoming longer than I intended, so I will stop here and allow you think on this. I will conclude another time. I'll like to read your comments on how we can communicate better with our teenagers.

Keep Doing Your Best